The Rundown: So Does Lil Wayne Have a Platinum Dick?

Lil Wayne

Lil Wayne Dick

Lil Wayne’s Dick Must Be Golden

I think it’s a question that has to be asked: Does Weezy have a ten inch, platinum dick that he swings as if he’s jumping from Mt. Everest – because if he doesn’t – how else are we going to explain all these women so willing not to just open their legs for him but to pop out his bastard spawn as well?

Lauren London & Lil Wayne

I’m sorry but Wayne looks like a drug addicted, STD infected, tattooed poster child for why all women should never forget to take their birth control pills. Hell, in my opinion he should be the poster child for the abstinence/true love waits campaigns. I know if I saw is smiling grilled up grin looking at from my gynecologist’s office I might be real pressed to close the cookie jar for good…or at least a while.

I just don’t get it.

Lil Wayne has the original Baby Momma, then some random Vietnamese chick and now (rumor has it) Lauren London. Seriously Lauren? You couldn’t find you a nice respectable rapper to get knocked up by? You had to go for the gargoyle looking Lil Wayne to be the potential father of your child? And if rumor holds true he ain’t even with you anymore and please let us not forget about Nivea who was auditioning to be Baby Mama #2 before the Asian chick beat her to the punch.

This is the point where I say Olly-Olly-Oxen-Free because I just give up trying to understand what the barely legible (and never sober) Wayne possesses to make these women fall so hard for his midget ass.

Hell, I guess some things only God can understand.

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