Own Your Orgasm
Now don’t get me wrong there are two instances when the lack of an orgasm on a woman’s part is definitely the man’s fault:
1. Erectile dysfunction – yep this effects young men as well, not just the over 40 crowd. If he can’t get or keep an erection then there isn’t much you can do about that.
2. Premature ejaculation – anybody over the age of 18 should have this under control and if they don’t, there isn’t a whole lot you as a woman can do about it. He’s at least gotta give you enough time to get there.
However, other than the two aforementioned scenarios, your lack of an orgasm is squarely on your shoulders. You can’t blame anyone else if you don’t have one. In my life, I take a very proactive approach to sex. I feel my orgasm is my responsibility and I act accordingly. I know what gets me off. I know where and how I like to be touched, the necessary pressure and the positions that work best. If he’s not a sex guru (and most men are not) that’s fine, I can take control of the situation and make sure we both leave satisfied and pleased.
Now if you don’t know what you like, I suggest you find out. We all hope for the guy who is the reincarnation of Mandingo and just intuitively knows what we want and how we like it, but that’s not reality and it’s unfair pressure to any new lover you may take on. If ya’ll are just meeting, how is he supposed to know what you like? If you don’t articulate your desires how is he supposed to help you reach the peak? Hell, if you’re not sure what it takes to get you to that mountaintop, how is anyone else supposed to know?
So if you’re one of these women who is constantly complaining about the orgasms you’re not having, I suggest you take some time, light some candles, throw on some soft music, and get to know yourself. Throw some toys in the mix if you’re comfortable with that sort of thing. But whatever it takes, learn what’s going to get you there, so the next time someone is doing it for you, you’ll be assured to cross the finish line.